THE RICH MAN’S TOY!

She was with him just but for a while, he took care of her and she had a nice time........ or so it seemed. Endless treats and shopping sprees; all were part of the deal. But to him she was just a play thing, and they both knew it wasn’t going to last long, finally the day came and he threw her away like bathwater!

It is unfortunate that many women today have seen men who are not their husbands as their ultimate providers. By this, I’m referring to single ladies and unfaithful wives who date richer men as a business venture. This problem is not inherently a Nigerian one. As Nigerian girls date ‘aristos’ just for the money, some American women have become serial wives to billionaires just for the benefits accrued after fast tracked divorces.

A woman is capable of achieving everything a man can achieve; no woman is perpetually disadvantaged just because she is a woman. The difference in the physiological make up between men and women is hardly a disadvantage to the woman folk to actualise their aspirations in sports, business, career and other branches of human existence. Some women have come to believe that the only thing they can amount to in life is what men have made or can make of them. As a woman you must believe in yourself, work hard, make impact, make a name and establish an enduring legacy for yourself.  If fate then makes you marry a rich man, his wealth would just be an addition to complement your efforts and he won’t be your financial Alpha and Omega. Besides men are attracted to enterprising and hardworking women, while they have less respect for exclusively dependent women. This reality does not exclude religiously inclined and morally upright men. “Look for a lady who has her mind set and plans made. There is nothing sexier than a woman with ambition”- Raghib Clitso.

It is surprising that even some career women have illicit affairs with wealthy men for financial gain! So what do we say their problem is? Some ladies lead double dubious lives, this is caused by a warped mindset and skewed orientation. Sex shouldn’t be given as a commodity like food, clothes and recharge cards! It is special and should be treated as such and given only to one person who deserves it (not the sugar daddy). The reckless impunity with which sexual immorality and perversion have become pervasive is discomfiting. Many men love to get intimate with women for the fun of it. You must maintain your dignity; remain chaste for your future or present husband. Even the most sexually perverse man wants to marry a virgin. Woman, you can live a full, vibrant life without the direct financial input of any man.  You should use your talents, skills, and endowments (excluding bedroom skills and a full figure!) to meet your financial and other needs. Ladies should take a cue from women achievers worldwide; women like –

·         Joyce Banda; award-winning gender activist and first woman to be the President of Malawi. She cut her salary by 30% and auctioned the country’s Presidential jet to garner support for economic aid to her country,

·         Christine Lagarde; the current and first female Managing Director of the IMF, lawyer, politician. In 2011, Lagarde was ranked the 8th most powerful woman in the world by Forbes magazine.

·         Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma; the first woman to lead the African Union, and Minister under three South African Presidents,

·         Hilary Clinton; American politician, diplomat, lawyer, activist, former Secretary of State, Philanthropist, former first lady and candidate for Democratic Presidential nomination.

·         Ola Orekunrin; who works in the Nigerian healthcare industry. At 25, she is a medical doctor, a helicopter pilot and the Managing Director of West Africa’s first ambulance service, Flying Doctors,

·         Chinamanda Ngozi Adichie; celebrated Nigerian author who won the Commonwealth writers’ prize for her first book ‘Purple Hibiscus’ and the Orange Broadband prize for fiction for her second , ‘Half of a Yellow Sun’, which has been made into a film. She has used her status to call on religious leaders to quell rising sectarian tensions in Nigeria.

·         And many more women making impact in their various fields worldwide.

Can someone please tell me what men have achieved that these women have not achieved? I maintain that the best way to become a great achiever is to hone your skills and talents, doing work that you enjoy. Be reminded that when God gave humans the mandate at creation to subdue, replenish and dominate the earth, He was not referring to the male gender alone! According to Genesis 1:27-28, He was talking to the man and the woman.

Let us take a cue from the Proverbs 31 woman:

10  ¶ Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11  The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12  She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13  She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14  She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15  She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16  She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17  She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18  She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19  She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20  She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21  She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22  She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23  Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24  She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25  Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26  She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27  She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28  Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29  Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30  Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

31  Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

I agree this is a long passage, but it is explicit. Judging by the narrative in Proverbs 31, it looks as though the husband of the Proverbs 31 woman does not have a job!  

Lady, you cannot sleep your way to the top, the best you will be is a sex slave. How many lecturers will a female student sleep with in order to graduate with a first class in the university? If love and affection were to be received in exchange for money, on what basis then would we receive the love of God and how much would we pay Him? Can you imagine how your sugar daddy speaks about you when he is with his friends? Besides, the time a young woman spends with a sugar daddy reduces her prospects of finding and settling with the ideal man who has her best interests at heart. Don’t be fooled into believing that a man will solve all your problems. If a woman is not happy with herself, the entry of a man into her life will not make her happy. Lack of self esteem makes a woman easy prey for randy men. Fathers must take good care of their daughters because this helps boost their self confidence, such that treats, love and affection will not be new to such girls when they leave the protective cover of their parents to face the rest of the world. You are the architect of your own destiny. Do not allow pettiness and momentary pleasures becloud your judgement.

Another reason why you must constantly develop yourself as lady is that even if you stumble on a good man who decides to marry you, you will destroy him eventually if you do not have your eyes set on success and intend to get there through diligence and hard work. While the virtuous woman builds her husband and encourages him to succeed further, the gold digger is only a conduit pipe that will drain life out of her lover. Many millionaires have become paupers because they married greedy wives. Men, beware!

Like a child outgrows his toys, the rich man around whom you have centred your very existence will someday get tired of you and discard you, and probably move on to the next ‘toy’ in sight.

Be wise, you can make it, you will make it!